SHOOTS!...SORRIE BUT I HAVE TO SAY THIS FCUK!.. PARDON ME.. seriously can't take it anymore. almost gave up on studyin today when i came back from school. took out everybook that i hav to study.. halfway through. heads spinnin and headaches comin back.. slight fever coming back..havin a slight sore throat.. everyting's comin back.. STRESS OUT!!!.. was halfway through studyin maths until i fall asleep on the table for 2 hrs.. imagine that.. went for dinner after dinner.. didn't feel like studyin until now.. i mean c'mon i'm sooooooooooo fcukin stress.. o well, exams like 4 days away.. be studyin like hell tomorrow,sunday and monday man...and for the rest of my subjects on the day itself...sooo IDIOTIC.. o well, gotta chao.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

exams are near and i'm like sooo gonna fall sick anitime... took my tempreture durin elective period.. was 37.1.. quite high..ain't sure wht will be my tempreture next tomorrow.. sick yet headin to school to study.. niways. maths was like doin some quadratic graphs lar. was bein scolded by TANG again for not listenin to instruction.. she was like'' you see this red tie..'' almost wanted to say'' can i take it off''.. but nahx.. not that darin enough.. grrr...f*uk!. 7 more days and i'm like revisin half of the page in maths topic.. not done revisin all the CHAPS yet.. but soon..gettin annoyed each day by studies n guys askin me for sweets and chewing gum..soo idiotic stress lar..heads obviously spinnin sometimes..

how could this happen to me
i made my mistakes.
got no where to run
the life goes on as im fadin away
i'm sick of this life
i just wanna scream
how could this happen to me.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

hey.. o well.. acturlly wasn't suppose to blog today but i just can't take it anymore.. let's get started.. woke up at 11.30. brush and wash up.. did some reading of newspapers.. skipped my lunch..watch tv.. did some english revising.. left the house bout 3.15.. went to East Meadow.. first of all, i went to the gym to do trackmail.. then did some cycling and the pulling of weights.. wanted to swim at 4.00 but it just started pouring like cats and dogs.. so was still doin exercisin till bout 4.45.. got change into my swim wear.. sat on the chair... OH GOSH!!! this is the part where i'm soooo..... i dunno how to say... but when i stood up i took off my shirt.. of cuz i'm wearin my swimmin suit.( 2 piece.PSPS).. then went into the pool... suddenly this aus boy bout 12 or 13 years old if i'm ain't wrong..guess he saw me and he came to the pool which i was in.. first thought... * ....eyyy?? * but on the second thought saw his CUTE AND CHARMING FACE * OMG.. HIS SOOO HOT.. *.. hahaha..he was like lookin directly at me... i was like also lookin at him.. kinda smilin at him abit.. and then i was like'' ok...chill...chill....'' then started swimmin.. he was like kinda wanna come near me..but then i dunno why but i kept on grinnin from ear to ear.. seriously.. his soooo hot man.. i like his hair and his everythin..* cheyy..GATAL AKU*.. hahaha..
then when i swam to the other end and i turn back, he wasn't there.. went to the spa.. then again i swam back to the place that i was.. he came back to the pool again.. OMG!!! can't take it anymore... minutes later he came together with his brother.. gosh!!! both of them are HOT!!! charming and CUTE..where ever i was in the pool, both of them seems to be comin near me bit by bit.. but guess they didn't dare too or frettin that i might be embarrase or shy... oh and there's some pervert guys in the swimmin pool.. lookin at me in some funny ways... eeww. like as though they wanna do somethin funny.. i was petrifight.. that i didn't dare to swim anymore laps.. as the pool was gettin crowded, the hot guys left the pool and so i stopped swimming to and fro.. at first didn't dare to come out.. but at last i did.. wipe myself dry.. sat down for awhile.. wore my shirt over me.. and i left.. oh yeah . and soo the younger brother(aus). saw me walkin away.. both him and the brother came out of the pool too.. went takin a shower and got change.. went to the aircorn room.. the two guys was there too.. infront of my mum.. guess waitin to play billard.. OMG!!! CAN'T STOP TAKIN THEM OFF MY HEAD.. THEIR JUST SOO HOT LAR.. hahaa.. o well, just got back from gym and swimmin.. just rest yeah.

tonight i need your sweet caress
hold me in the darknest
tonight you calm your restlessness
you relieve my sadness

as we move to embrace
tears run down ur face
i whisper words of love softly
i can't believe this pain
it's driving me insane
without your touch, life will be lonely

so raise your hands to heaven and pray
that we'll be back together someday

Saturday, April 21, 2007

exams are like 12-11 days away. did practically nothin except for that little bit of revisin.. bout 3hrs and 3o minutes.. that's not enough.. signnin off at 10.00.. to do some revisin again b4 goin to sleep.. my life sucks lar.. i dun have my won cupboard to put my bags or wadever that im havin right now... at least i put it where it was right after use yeah.. and my mum was like naggin at me for puttin it which ever way i want.. it's like WTH.. at least i put it back where it was.. i didn't throw it aniwhere.. alreadi i dun have my own room.. where the hell do you expect me to put it. or where do you want it to be..i can my as well chuck it in the bin for i care.. i'm alreadin 14 turnin 15 SOON!!! need to have my own room and PRIVACY.. don't tell me when i'm 16 or 17 i'm still sleepin with my parents...SO JEALOUS OF MY BROTHER AND SISTER. why the *cuk my grandmother thought of havin a extra two rooms for my brother and sister and not me!!!! i have my own life ok.... if it's not my grandmother then it's my family.. or my parents who think that way...i'm sooooooooooooooo PITYFUL since young..though i'm a rich bitch..doesn't mean i live in a wonderful and EXTRAVAGANZA kinda life... i'm always havin my downs though i have my ups but not that much aight*....... i mean now that my cousin hav moved out after her wedding.. why not leave that room and space for me.. i know my aunt needs that room.. but at least leave some space for me to use it as my own room...why wanna use it as a store room!!...grrrrrr.....one day i might go and drive myself nuts.. and i'll just think of some crazi things to do to myself...SERIOUSLY... why is this always happenin to me.. i'm alreadi 15 all grown up.. i'm kinda organized now with my books in the new shelf.. and slidin drawer. and i always have the tendercy to put back my things after use.. i save up my money in my wallet.. ok mayb i spent all sometimes.. but..... pffff.

i'm all in a mess right now.. that's why my blog link says
www.insanitymessylife.blogspot.com..

that's how my life is right now..

i just can't understand the ways
of all the men and their mistakes
you gave them all your heart
and they rip it all away

you told me how much you love me
and how our love was meant to be
and i believe in you
i thought you would set me free

you should've just told me the truth
that i wasn't the girl for you
still, i didn't have the clue
so my heart depended on you

althought i'd say i hate you now
though i'll shout and curse you out
i'll always have the love for you
because i am a girl

been told a man will leave you cold
get sick of you and bored
i know that it's no lie
i gave my all, still i just cry

never again will i be fooled
to give my all when nothing's true
i won't be played again
but i will fall in love again

i loved you so
now you leave me in the cold
how could this be
i thought that you'd only love me

into the night
i will pray that you're alright
you hurt me so
i just can't let you go

you took advantages of my willingness
to do anithing for love
now i'm the only one in pain
will you please take it all away

never thought being born a girl
how i can love you and be burned
and now i will build a wall
to never get torn again.

kiss- because i am a girl.

Friday, April 20, 2007

today was a HUMDRUM.. mum drives me to school..reached sch, sat together with my mates and friends.. skip that part.. went doin my duty..always standin at the door to rush people up to the hall b4 their late..after standin for awhile.. felt tired.. went sittin at the stairs near the stage.. oh and this guy name EARL... why is he pickin on me all the time as in disturbin me callin me... ''......'' can't say out..if u wanna know.. ask me on msn.. but still i won't tell.. lol.. lame.. and after school, i was walkin out of school together with my friend until i didn't know he(earl) was outside.. he saw me and he walk together with me.. my classmates were behin me which i didn't notice it.. until they called me '' bernadette.. ur boyfriend??'' i was like'' ehem*.. giggles.. * just walk off.. his sec 1 and i'm sec 3.... his like a lil' bro to me.. although his somewhere around my height..*psps*. and his a foreigner. not a singaporean.. niways, went home after school to bath.. and came back to school.. but went 7-11 first.. was perspiring like hell...walkin under the HUMID sun.. was in 7-11 till i saw WAYNE n his friends.. say hi to him and stuff.. bought snacks.. paid up.. the counter manager was smiling and lookin at me after i paid.. ok i know my face is as red as some animated cartoon called '' pikachu'' or as red as an apple.. u needn't look at me like as if there's a connection or somethin.. EEEWW... haha. ran in.. saw nelson.. he was like sayin this in chinese'' kan dao wo jiu pai... wo bu hui chi diao ni '' translate it in english '' look at me then run.. i won't eat you up'' i was like'' mei you lar.. wo chi dao le.'' went to the class with untied hair... my face was blushin red.. as if ive just got back from marathon.. guides was such a drag today.. but quite fun being a leader for the sec 1s n 2s...oh n i brought 1 bottle of chewin gum today.. gave it to nelson,sharizah,hakeem,atikah,atiqah,fatin,zulaikha,amira,siti,sabariah.

gides ended at 5.30..did some cleanin up. guides tabs.. waited for my friends.. as usual.. every friday i'll reach home late.. like 6.45. or even 7.00...every friday is always a drag....o well, ai't sure but i'm feel sooooo HOT..

i would hold you in my arms
i would take the pain away
thank ou for all you've done
forgive all your mistakes
there's nothin i would'nt do
to hear your voice again
sometimes i wanna call you
but i know you won't be there

i'm sorry for blaming you
for everything i just couldn't do
and i've hurt myself by hurting you

some days i feel broke inside but i won't admit
sometimes i just wanna hide cause it's you i miss
and it's so hard to say goodbye
when it comes to this.

would you tell me i was wrong?
would you help me understand?
are you looking down upon me?
are you prooud of who i am?

there's nothin i wouldn't do
to have just one more chance
to look into your eyes
and see you looking back.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

just got sooo darn bord.. so i decided to update my blog.. not really update but just write a song lyrics that i adore listenin to soo much. XD.. it's a nice and soothing and sentimental song.. sooo yeah.. hees*.

o well, i'm now at home. DUH!..
finally finish revisin my work.
oh and the best thing is my piano teacher got soo pist off with me for not countin the beats.. and wrong fingerings and wrong letterings. she was sooo freakin pist off till she have to scold me at the top of her lungs.. i was soooo FCUKED up her with.. gotta understand me. exams are comin and i dun have the time to practice!!.. why the hell shout at me like i'm one pig-headed man.. grr.. CHINESE was just a humdrum for your info. was watchin a chinese animated show bout war.. and i was halfway through dozing off for like 5 minutes and i was being awaken by my teacher.. then again she let us watch a dreary chinese show. shows after shows.. and was dozin off AGAIN.. coverin up my face.. but once again was being awaken.. not from teacher but from this annoyin guy name, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL HAPPILY EVER AFTER. hahaha.-.-..imagine i was sleeping soo soundly. out of the blue

me: zzzzzzzz[ of cuz i wasn't snooring ]
jack: EY!*bangs the table* WAKE UP LAR.. YOUR HOUSE AR..no respect.
me: *jerked up. swep palms across face*. ya why.. got a prob..i'm sooo exaushted can't you see..
the story continues..can't be bothered..
just feel soo irritated and annoyin right now.
12 more days to our mid-year exams!
STRESS!!!!. somemore with some shit prefects meeting and all *CUK up lar.
hacks!..o well. it's 9.34pm and i've gotta go.

i close my eyes,
and even when i'm sleeping
i'm alright
cause you were, in my life

once upon a time
i ony imagined this
and now you're mine
wished for you so hard
prayed that you'd find me
maybe your here today
here to remind me

if you believe that dreams come true
there's one that's waiting there for you
cause i believed when i saw you
that when you want something enough
that it can't escape your love
there is nothing in the world that cannot be
if you believe...

everybody said
that i was a fool to think
that we'd connect
but i couldn't get my heart out of my head
and they just didn't see
no, they just couldn't know
the feeling that you get
the places that you go

If you believe that dreams come true,
There's One that's waiting there for you.
'Cause I believed when I saw You
That when you want something enough,
Thren it can't escape Your love.
There is nothing in the world that cannot be
.If you believe.

Never wished for material things;
Never needed wind in my wings.
I never wished for anything but You...oh!
I can't explain it,
Someone just told me,

Rachel Lampa- if you believe.

Labels: stress

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

hey yo!.. o well, i'm now in school.. havin cme.. but was suppose to do some stuff like kindness and integrity.. but i've finis llokin for it.. aniway .. my day was a spoiler today.. it all happens when i had a diarier.was havin all sorts of cramps and aches.. grrr.. and was loosin my temper with hakeem.. but wasn't really loosin till the core.. that hakeem.. his always disturbin me.. and i kinda got ain't mood to talk to anione.. not really...called my parents.. but they let me down..my mum don't allow me to go back until after school... grrr... niways.. left with like 5 more minutes..
gotta shut off soon.. will be updatin later when i'm home yeah..

see ya

hey there.. i'm back again.. haha.. o well, just got back from school..and my stomach still hurts.. argf!!! i've been whinnin from morning till now.. and from the computer lab to the canteen to the classroom.. sometimes i do hate my mum.. it really does hurts and my mum don't wanna send me home. wadever..went to the toilet twice..

you find it in the deepest friendship
the kind you cheris all your life
and when you know how much that means
you found that special thing
you flying without wings

so impossible as they may seem
you've got to fight for every dream
cos who's to know which one you let go
would have made you complete.

Labels: spoiled my day

geez.. i really have to tendercy to update my blog every now and then even though i dun really have the time to...ooo.. niways.. today was really such a brag... did duty in 1 dil.. had to shout a few times...but still they didn't listen. are they born to be death or wad.. drive me nuts.. not mood to shout animore.. just wrote down their names.. and did my work. that class is KILLING me man...and my junior, EDWARD wasn't there.. grrr... skip that.. then went to the bookshop.. wanted to ask for pencil lid but the bookshop was crowded with students of cuz.. as they went askin for sweets.. and this azar!! HIS A PAIN IN THE ARSE LAR... KEPT ON ASKIN ME FOR SWEET.. WHO DO YOU THINK I AM... SWEET SUPPLIER... it's all the time...even though i dun have it, he'll still ask... feel like givin him one type slap on her BLOODIN DAM DARN FACE MAN.. OMG.. chill....chill...relaxs.....cool man babe... cheyy!.. hahahahahah. his tryin to make me blow my top off!! seriously i can't stand him animore.. always askin me for sweet.. sometimes he'll ask me to use my money to buy for him beverages..and even ask me to use my money to buy for him a to-up card.. that's like more INSANE!! . grrr... i'm A ANTI-SWEET SUPPLIER!!! GRRRR...now is the time for me to condentrate on my studies... no more givin out sweets or what so ever!! so what if they say''LOKATE'' or ''TIPU'' what shit! for all i care.. if they don't believe, it's their own busniess!.. my money is for recess money although i dun really eat durin recess time..

IT period was a drag... teacher kept lecturin us for the whole of entier lessons.. cuz of some of us not answerin him..and some were sleepin... some dar dreamin... and some laughin and disturbin the class... after the lesson, the whole calss was ask to get out.. then readin period.. again they ask me for sweet..
azar: bernadette..
me: no response
ikin: bernadette
me: no response
zafir: bernadette
me: no response
izzat: bernadette
me: no response
elfie: Bernadette
me: WHAT?? *GIGGLES ABIT*
alfie: points to azar
azar: sweet:
me: -.-* can't be-bothered*
azar said in mly: mak.. lokate sial:

that's like what so ever.. seriously i dun bother bout azar animore!!! hate him TO THE CORE!!!
recess.. didn't eat but drank a cup of watermelon juice. sat together with raudhah.. talk rubbish to her.. then hilary went takin my file and ran away... HOW CLEVER SHE IS.. me went chasin after her like one crazi arsehole.. hahha..all the way to the DnT block.. mly guys sittin near the fitness corner was lookin at us as if we're some kind of retarded kiddos.. *POOR ME*.. after runnin, i was trembling and panting..dunno why.. then went back to canteen.. took my bag.. went to class..MT class.. saw dino... both of us smile at each other.. but we're friends...then it was cPA.. went to help out with the chairs and tables and carryin of books.. went all the way to .com lab took some books.. came down.. yiwen was like lookin at the books and he smiled at me.. anithin amuse him??? nyeh2.. zarif was SUPER DUPER PATHETIC LAME LAR.. thn it was music..

then went home.. didn't bother bout waitin at the hall for some prefect thingy.. walk together with amira and sabariah.. sun was up and rain startin pourin down.. . walkin under the sun and rain for awhile until i realise i brought my umbrella.. FORGETTFUL ME.. study till it slipped off my mind.. but my umbrella was just a pathetic small umbrella whom can only fit two person.. poor me have to use my file as a protection.. almost got soaked up.. went bedok interchange to return my library books.. went to the library for awhile.. then went home..

aniways, guess frm tomorrow onwards i'll not be bloggin.. will be buzy revisin and studyin for exams ya'll.. pffff... stress up alreadi.. and always getttin headaches and stuff.. the smilin and laughin is my friends whom always cheerin me up..niways gotta chao here... needa do some revision for english yeah. and also to pack my bag..

see ya people.

well you showed me
how it feels
to feel the sky
within my reach
and i always
will remember all
the strength you
gave to me
your love made me
make it through
oh, i owe so much to you
you were right there for me.
cause i always saw in you
my light, my strength
and i want to thank you
now for all the ways
you were right there for mex2
for always.

Monday, April 16, 2007

yo!.. niways.. today readin period was such a bore.. like hell lar.. ahha.. b4 that assembly..assembly.. was nothin.. except that i didn't know i dropped my tie-pin.. nvm. after readin.. it was english.. did some comprehension worksheet. and then continue with my SUCKISH drawing or tracin.. wadever that is.. then it was EOA.. grrr.. DARN HAKEEM!!! he just adore me izzit??? his always disturbin me while i was focusin on my work.. like tryin to press a key on my keyboard just to screw my computer up...and always pokin my stomach.. as in the side.. every computer and EOA lessons.. pfff..and always buggin me for sweets...after EOA.. it was readin period.. went to 3 loyalty. where vino and eunice was.. and the rest.. was suppose to ask them to shut their mouth.. but i don't have to courage.. feel like shoutin but i will feel shy.. dunno why.. then recess.. didn't eat with vino.. didn't makes around with her much.. and after not mixin round with her, she's like one *itch man.. she said bad things bout me somethin like'' one day i may sleep in the streets or somethin like that'' and she's like rafidah.. callin me by my surname..

VINO'S LIKE WADEVER to me now..
i'm no more her DARLIN.. [bluek!..disgusted way]. anti-darlin.

niways, why am i talkin bout this.
then it was FnN.. FnN was like one super duper lame and annoyin..

it's annoyin cuz classmates kept on makin noise and was chase outside the home econs room till we shut our mouth..
and it was lame cuz people like ASRI kept on buggin and askin me bout whether i have BF.. so i have to tell a little white lie that i have..

asri: bernadette, you have bf?
me: why?
asri: just askin.. you have?
raudhah*winked* whispered[ say have..]
me: dun have
asri: dun lie.. i know you have
raudhah: whispered[ say u have..cyrus..] *smiggerin*
me: i have lar.. from australia.. his a surfer..
asri: oh.. mine from......*keeps quiet*
me:-.-''

lame right.. ask me that question out of a sudden..
today we baked spongecake and pizza..

spongecake was like YUCKIES..
and pizza was like ok..-.-


and next lesson was maths. mdm tang was in the class.. greeted her.. sepnd bout half an hour and half the lesson lecturin those late comers and braggin bout how should we be when there's a teacher in the classroom..dunno why she kept PICKIN on me...GRRR.. i was lookin at her.. listenin to her.. and she called me

mdm tang: you should know by then what are graphs and so on right.... BERNADETTE..
me: *stares weirdly at her*

and yeah the lesson continued and we were ask to draw a red line across the paper..poor afiq got nagged by her..

mdm tang: *walk towards afiq* have you draw a red line across?..
afiq: *stares in a blur way*..
mdm tang: use a rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrred pen to draw across:

sabariah,siti norain,afiqah,zarif,fatin,me n some others: *laughs...giggles*.

continued with the lesson....was quite boring lar.. was ask to help qin jiang to draw a red line across.. and to join my table to his...pff..
geeez.. i still can remember.. niways it's 6.22. 8 more minutes to my dinner time.. or ani minute.
stop here yeah..

never knew i could feel like this
like i've never seen the sky before
i want to vanish inside your kiss
every day i love you more and more

listen to my heart, can you hear it sing
telling me to give you everything
seasons may change, winter to spring
but i love you, until the end of time.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

woohoo!!.. haha.. just soooo bored!!..o well, i'm like sooo happy that i can finally talk to my god-brother, CYRUS whom have been away to australia(tasmania) for like 3 months.. and didn't stay in contact for like 1 or 2 month.. until he send me a testimonial.. and FINALLY got to talk to him yesterday!!.. yay!! seriously.. miss him truckloads man.. hahaha.. miss those days where he was still in singapore and both of us talk till late mid-night.. and yesterday what's with me that i was like actin weird towards him as in not talkin that much... things change yeah.. but slowly i'll get to talk to him more again.. the reason is.. his been buzy with her surfin test.. that's why.. aniways.. exams are round the corner.. so i've been tryin not to go online for long and i did it. i've been always buzy yeah.. trust me. buzy doin homework..revisin and stuff..

well, after a long lost contact, his still sooooo DARN NICE TO ME AND HIS SOOOO SWEET!!!
seriously.. i can't take it animore.. hahaha... nwiays, i've gotta go.

dam.. gotta go prayin tomorrow again..pffff..

wanting you,
to be wantin me.
no that ain't no way to be.
how i feel, read my lips,
because i'm so over.
moving on, it's my time,
you never were a friend of mine
hurt at first,a little bit,
but now i'm so over,
i'm so over it.

Friday, April 13, 2007

well...first thing in the mornin.. i knew i had to carry quite alot of stuff.. so i was kinda lazy to walk to school. so i ask my mum to drive me to school. reach school, sat together with fatin,atirah and siti norain till bout 6.45-47 then i went doin my duty. oh and b4 that, i came in to school, hao pei was like'' eh alex girl... hi.. '' i was like stickin my tongue out. and he continued sayin'' alex girl..'' his friend was like'' eh, the real alex just pass by'' talkin to hao pei... bla bla bla. minutes later.. my ex, oswin was like shoutin'' prefects! why ur sit here.. think wat fun fair...!!'' wadever that is.. then later atikah was like losin her temper by shoutin back at him..OMG.. atikah's reaction was like gonna fight with him.. so i tried pullin her back and calmin her down.. pfff.. after assembly was p.e.. played volleyball.. after p.e was maths.. Mr. alwi taught us maths.. and also taught us how to plot the graphs and stuff like that.. was kinda tired lar.. then it was english.. had to choose a easy coverpage for us to draw.. not too difficult..didn't complete it.. after english it was readin period.. went toilet to change.. then went bookshop to buy sweet. as usual.. then recess... after recess it was cpa.. after school, i went together with sabariah to her house.. waited outside for her... and bout 10 minutes later she came out with cream puff and her stuff..

sabariah'' thxs yea for the nice cream puff..love it..keke''
it was acturlly kinda pourin lightly... we walk under the rain..to her house and fro. back to school.. had some games.. like toothpick and rubberband.. had to pass it usin the toothpick.. then balloon passin with time limit.. lucky me didn't do ani four feet.. keke. then ate a sandwiches and snakcs plus a drink.. afte that we played catchin.. was shoutin like no one's busniess..=p..

nxt week onwards it's our turn to take over as a leaders..
have to be responsible.. can't skip guides animore like what i did durin sec 2..pfff.

oh and what's with this sec 1 guy.. kept on callin me bubble head..
darn him!... if i had the chance i'll walk towards him and smash his face. hahhaa.*chech*.

o well, it's 8.42 and i've gotta go at 9.00 to do my homework..pff
see ya guys round.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

today was nothin at all.. except for hilary and i talkin bout vino BEHIND HER BACK.. IN CHINESE SOMEMORE. how bad are we.. but it's afact.. first time i saw her, she was ok until the second time and third time i was like kinda pretendin to be friends with her..her character is like... all i know is she have a bad attitude.. seriously.. she told me once that she tried commitin suicide but she can't cuz she's too short..cuz the railin was high.. and she tried usin the pen knife to cut herself but she can't.. and she says it's fun doin all those stuff ..XIAO[crazi] right.. she's EMO.. om*g.. oh and she can't be patient at all.. and she's SPOILT.. yesterday or the day b4 yesterday after buyin a plate of food.. she was like'' the plate is sooo big!!! they think i'm small and they gave me a big plate!!....grrr... askin me'' you want'' me'' no thxs'' sally'' you want'' sally'' do wan''.. ehhhhh... they gave me a big plate... I DO WAN TO EAT ALREADI...'' she's seriously SPOILT... niways why am i talkin bout her.. today was nothin but was runnin up and down the stairs walkin to and fro the corridor lookin for atikah cuz of the edusave form.. and cuz of mr.sulaiman wants it right away.. after findin her.. i was like sweatin profusely for like few minutes and finally get to rest and stand under the pathetic fan in my class.. takin out tissue to clean myself... and i read story book and chewin sweets in my mouth until elfiee zafir saw it..

niways... i'll stop here and gotta go hav my dinner yeah
see ya people.
chill out.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

hey!.. gosh.. i always have the tendency to post my blog.. but ain't got responsibilities for my homework. but it's not completely that i ain't got the responsibility yeah. i do still have.. i'll be usin the computer for awhile every day and every now and then and after that, i'll go revise my work if i ain't got any assignment to do.. but if i do, i'll do it and make sure it's properly done and not any-o-how yeah.. seriously.. after doin my assignment and revisin, i'll just sit and read my story book.. and there goes my mum again askin me to read my chinese as my chinese is like goin down the drain. wakekekeke... today was nothin much acturlly except for like durin assembly, we have I.F.D talks and quizes and dramatics and choirs.. and that's like zzzzzzzzzzzz.. and suppose to go for prefect meetin but i didn't.. i've tuition EVERY WEDNESDAY!!!! .. niways, i've just change it to monday. so.. guess i shall be goin for meetin nxt wednesday yeah. grrrrr.. hate meetins.. and make me feel like QUITTIN OR RESIGN!!.. HATE BEING A PREFECT.. CUZ WE HAV LOTS OF MEETINGS THAT WE HAVE TO TURN UP AND WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL DURIN THE HOLIDAYS FOR SOME THINGY WADEVER SHIT THAT IS... argggg..... i just wanna find a day for me to quit.. i can't stand it animore... being a prefect makes me hell out of exaushted and kinda stress out sometimes when i don't have the time to revise my work and to study.. stayin back in school for meetin it's like takin out alot of time for me to revise at home.. it's no good being a prefect. kuakuakua.. aniway..

my brain is gonna shut down soon.. nahx let me see.. shut up??. haha..lame..-_-''.. niways.. after school, walk home together with siti norain,fatin and amira.. we were like talkin and laughin like insane. it's kinda stupid niways.. but i just enjoy laughin like crazi.. i'm INSANE!!!.. oh and maths lesson, my teacher was teachin us halfway until my ex-bf, oswin was outside..
sabariah '' bernadette...''
me'' i know''

after school
fatin'' bernadette, just now durin maths period, oswin was outside then he was like lookin at you''
me'' oh izzit''
fatin'' of cuz i know.. i saw his eyes.. lookin at you then at the teacher then at you again''
me'' ouh..ok''.

yea yea..wadever..
niways, have to go and eat my dinner and start doin my homework yeah
chaos.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

hey yo! people. o well, today was nothin much acturlly. early in the morning did my duty and stuff. 3nob was being ask to stay back cuz of rudeness to the prefects. soo i went back to my usual class 3endurance. as usual and annoyed and freakin irritated by that *CUKIN azarha. grrr. DAM him. HATE HIM TO THE CORE. who he think he is to ask me to buy for him water usin my own money... like as if he doesn't have single cent with him or wat..ok fine he may be poor.. but don't tell me he does'nt have a SINGLE CENT??. everytime i walk pass my class or go in my class, azar will be askin me for sweet.. if not chewin gum.. grrrr.. I'M AIN'T A SUPPLIER OK U TOOTS.! and oh yeah.. who you think i am again to help you do your homework. MAID?? OR SOME KIND OF HOMEWORK PERSON.. seriously.. his always askin me to do his homework for him.. even if i don't know how to do a sum, he'll still be askin me to do for him.. WT*H.... grrr.. spank his dam face man.. hahaha.. that whole sentence sounds sooo devilish... seriously people.. hate him to the core man.. i mean everytime when i buy mentos for myself n mayb 4 my close friends like amira, sabariah,fatin,siti and atikah.. some how or rather.. those girls don't always ask from me.. but him.. always askin from me.. and even though i say that i ain't got ani left.. he'll still be askin me and pesterin me for sweet.. and thinkin that i lie to him or wad so ever nonsence.. argg.. aniway, why am i talkin bout him... just stop talkin bout him b4 i start to PUKE...OMG!...

where was i.. o yeah. readin period.. o well, went back to my class.. read my story book and there came hilary pesterin me to do my duty at 3 NOB when i say that i'm soooooooooo exaushted.. kept on givin her own reasons..it's like whatever yeah.. and thxs to her, she smack my butt TWICE.. what's her problem..she needs to go to a special clinic which stop her from smackin peoples BUTT u know.. hahahah. got my exam list. it's like 10th april.. i've got like 22 more days b4 my mid-exam. gotta study hard and try my freakin best this time man.. not gonna let my parents down or anithin.. and NAFA was like ..... despite my bruises on my left lower back, i still could do 36 sit-ups. kekes.. and my standin broad jump wasn't a sucess for the first time..pfff.. gonna re-test.. niways, i've got no homework acturlly but gonna revise my work yeah. and tomorr's like another freakin hell day for me.. facin all the guys from askin me for sweet or chewin gum..ONCE AND FOR ALL I AIN'T A SUPPLIER for goodness sake!.

time can not rest our love to be fool
how can you pretend to be so cruel
maybe it's me baby
mayb it's you baby
maybe it's everything we've been dreaming of
we waited long enough.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

nothin really much that i wanna say but went to my grandmother house in yishun to celebrate my small little cousin's 5th birthday..had buffet. didn't reallt eat that much. after that went to the gym together with my brother for like 1 hr. i was like sooo giddy after the trackmail runnin.. after gym.. rest for awhile.. then went for a swim.. talkin bout swimmin * uncle, do you want me to poke ur dam eyes out???...QUIT starring at me u cheekopek.!!*. hahaha.. seriously.. cuz i was like gonna take the towel off me. my swim suit was 2 pairs..but of corse i wore my surf shorts over it. i just took the towel off me and this uncle started starrin at me. i was like kinda irritatin and annoyed by him. so i just turn the other way. aniway, went swimmin for like 1 an a half hours..inda sun tann for awhile.. and i saw HIM again. i mean the foreigner guy.. his sooo cute. haha. *omg..am i obsess with him??*..aniyway, after swimming, i got out of the pool. wipe myself with the towel. and OMG! tht's sooo embarrasin man.. i wasn't that careful enough.. took one step on the stairs near the pool and i slipped and fall through out the other steps.. *ouch*..hurt my lower back and my ARSE. and there were like people starrin at me. even the cutest guy in the pool.. i turn and saw him lookin at me in a like wanna smiggle at me. that's so humiliating. i stood up.. limpin away to the spa and relaxs myself.. and wht the hell is wrong with me after fallin on all those steps, i was like laughin at myself at the spa.. but of cuz no one saw me laughin. that was kinda humiliatin to me.. and yes! my lower back and arse still hurts.. grrrrr..o well. it's 7.28 now.. gonan stop here and continue watchin the show *a walk to remember*.

o well, just finish watchin. OMG!!..THXS TO NAWWARAH THAT I'M SOO OBSESS WITH THT SHOW NOW. haha. niways nawwarah: thxs for remindin me at the last minutes yesterday which it just slipped off my mind.: that show is sooo freakin nice man.. soooo touchin. and that guy is HOT. almost shed tears while watchin. haha. niways. gonna shut down the computer at 9.oo. gotta get ready for school tomorrow. ouh ya and and gotta look for hilary's apron. b4 i forget.. gotta run.. chao.

Friday, April 06, 2007

hello people wassup.. o well.. today is a good friday. suppose to be goin to the cemetry to pray to my ancestors.. o well, can't wake up as i burn the midnight oil yesterday.. was acturlly doin my school homework for 1 and a half hour and another 1hr on computer.. and like 1 or 2 hours on movie show on tv.. so yeah.. but then just went to the temple today to pray to my grandfather when he pass away when i was like 1 or 2 years old ONLI. sadly.[ accordin to my dad, at tht time i didn't know anithin].. lol.. after temple came home straight laze at the sofa for awhile.. stood up took my piano homework.. went up... couldn't bare myself so i just slowly lay myself soft and nice.. hahah.. on the mattress... was alreadi asleep until mum came up'' WAKE UP!!!......'' ME: NO RESPONSE: mum: WAKE UP WAKE UP....: me: no response: mum: I SAY WAKE UP B4 I START SHOUTIN AT YOU... CAN'T STAND TO SEE THE BED LIKE THAT.. QUICK WAKE UP.. AFTER AMKIN THE BED THEN U CAN GO BACK TO UR DREAMS'' me: haizzzz....grrr......veri tired.... pfffff* squattin while heads on knee and sleepin*. LOL..: mum: OI.. WAKE UP AND MAKE UR BED CAN?: and sooo im like sooo lazy.. woke up finally... throw my boster and pillow on the bed.. and my boster almost landed on my mum's eye.. *luckily it didn't*.. folded the blanket took the mattress up... mum made the bed.. and i just fall on the bed and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... i was being a PIGGY FROM 1.00-3.00. 2hrs... seriously i was sooooooooooooooooooooo tired..and now i'm finally quite awaken. listenin to muic.. usin the computer for like until 4.3o.. and start being a ANTIE..kekekeke XD..

o well, my brain is completely shut off.. it's isn't on yet.pff.
see ya..

Labels: zzzzz

Thursday, April 05, 2007

hello... well, bord as ever.hees*.. today notin really much until i almost fall asleep durin maths lesson.. mr alwi was like'' bernadette please go to the toilet to wash ur face'' i was like gettin up slowly and rubbin my eyes and went to the toilet...didn't waste much time in the toilet cuz of the malay dancers in the toilet changin.. just slide water across my eyes usin fingers. then went up.. well.. was still havin the feelin of dozing of but i just controlled myself for awhile... haha..after maths it was chinese. those guys was like askin me for chewin gum or sweets.. am i still the supplier or wat..screw them..but then sooo sorrie zarif for not bringin chewing gum that u have asked for.. and days goes by i've been forgettin.. he was like'' bernadette busted me sia'' b4 tht i promise him and even shake his hand.. i'm sooo BAD.. niways.. monday i'll just bring the chewin gum he asked.. PEOPLE WHO READ THIS.. JUST KEEP IT QUIET BOUT ME BRINGIN CHEWING GUM YEAH''.. LOL.. niways it's 7.48 and gonna stop here... gonna start workin at 8.oo work as in start doin my homework.. not those jobs workin yeah..kekeke.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

nothin really much acturlly.. as usual... was with vino most of the times yeah.. i mean during recess and in between classes and after school... dun really hav the privilege to go and mixs around with my other friends like samantha and hilary or michelle and others.. she's a magnet. stuck on me.. nahx.. not really...and im always force to eat with her... or wadever it is.... not that kinda force as in keep on pesterin me and stuff... aniways.. today's lesson was ZZZZZ....EOA, readin... readin period was like kinda crazi.. eunice and vino was like disturbin me and stuff... playin with the door.. bla bla bla.. then it was FnN...after that it was maths... got back my test papaer got 11/20.. that was like soooooo BAD..... and EOA.. hakeem was like askin me to kiss him if i want sweet or somethin like that.. i was like'' ha ha..like real.... veri funny'' he was like'' really..'' sayin it in mly.. i just shut my mouth.. aniways.. didn't go for prefect meetin kinda sick.. and havin tuition at 4.3o.. so hav to be home by 4.oo... and now i'm havin a slight fever which goes up to 37.4... gotta go rest now.. see ya..

wish i was the oldest.
parents controllin my life
is like there's no life for me.

wish i was somewhere...LOST.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

yo! wassup.. well, today nuthin eally much.. suppose to hav chinese lesson but my chinese teacher was havin their drama thingy.. so no teacher was relievin our class.. got nuthin to do but to write my journal.. and as usual.. people askin my for chewin gum and sweet.. who they think i am.. supplier?? o yeah sure.. wait until i'm out of stalk of chewin gum and they'll stop askin... hahaha. o well..was all bord and stuff..music lesson i was like practically sound asleep when the lights went off.. ms foo was playin this circus video for us to watch. i was QUITE SICK U KNOW.. THT'S WHY.. waited for raudhah after school.. took bus 60. and talkin bout DAM BUS 60.. ARGG... SCREW THIS BUS DRIVER FOR NOT STOPPIN WHEN I ACTURLLY PRESS THE BELL.. GUESS HE JUST WANTS ME TO LITERALLY PRESS A ZILLION TIMES FOR HIM TO NOTICE IT AND STOP THE BUS.. ARG..SCREW THIS BUS STOP MADE ME EMBARRASE INFRONT OF SOO MANY PASSENGERS IN THE BUS MAN..*BLUSH*. first i press it once it stopped and open the front door.waited for few minutes but still no sign of openin the door until my friends ridzuan shouted ''UNCLE......UNCLE'' no response.. i shouted'' UNCLE.....UNCLE...TING TONG'' then he open the freakin DOOR... SERIOUSLY MAKE ME SOO EMBARRASE UNTIL I HAV TO LOOK DOWN AND MADE MY DAM WAY OUT.. grrr.. should i make a press report on this bus driver whom doesn't know how to open the door until this nice cute and helpful primary school boy press the bell then he opens the door.. his somehow or rather DEAF!..


don't wanna talk bout the bus driver lar!!
niways, i've borrowed 2 library books.
i'll just stop here and read my books then.

seeya! =)

Sunday, April 01, 2007

hey!... o well... as you know it's my cousins big wedding day... got me up at 4 plus early in the morning when the sky is still kinda dark... i was practically awaken by the noise of my big cousins and sisters.. laughin and cheering of their voices.. but that's only for awhile.. then i tried goin back to sleep.. but then i was tossing and turnin... tryin to get some sleep.. until bout 10 plus.. woke up wash up and everythin get ready bout 11 plus.. and the bride and groom came to our house.. both bride and groom was a beautiful and gorgeous as usual when they have the make-up artist and of cuz the groom looks handsome as ever.. hahah.. started takin family photos again and stuff... that goes all the way till bout 12 or 1 plus...so exaushted... after takin photographs and stuff.. went out with mum and dad to centre point.. once reached there..mum went lookin at lee hwa jewelries.. went one big round.. gazin at the sparklings jewelries.. was kinda pullin her away.. but by bit.. haha.. niways. after that. ate strawberry and mongo ice-cream.. mum had her share..o and some guys was just lookin at me.. i was wearing a dress.that's why.. hees*.. and this young boy... his kinda like my shoulder height.. he kept lookin at me and i knew it cuz i was lookin at him too but not for long... DUH. haha.. dunno why out of the blue i was gonna smirkin at myself as if i wanna knw him... went to robinson went lookin for a bed for my sister as well as for my brother... while parents were lookin at beds...as for me, i went to TIMES bookshop lookin for interestin books to read while waitin... that got me stuck on the books.. time passes by.. parents called me up... met them outside... went MCDONALDS.. just sittin there waited for my mum and dad to finish wadever their munchin and slurpin on.. minutes later, these two guys.. one of them wear specs another guy wasn't wearin ani specs and seriously he looks soooo cute and handsome.. he was kinda near me.. i mean the next table.. talkin to his little brother.. both of them was kinda admirin me.. hahaha. i knew that too as the big brother was kinda turnin and lookin at me every few minutes.. anwiays, when my parents are done munchin and slurping.. my dad was like'' this is what foreigners do. after eatin, they take the tray and throw everythin in the rubbish right* clearin stuff*'' and there's like 2 glass plates and a glass tea cup and jokin bout'' i should throw the glass plates and cups in right...'' pfffff.. that a joke.. b4 that... this guy sittin the next table quite near us.. whom i was talkin bout.. he was like'' may i help you..*smilin and helpin us willingly*'' my mum was like'' oh.. thank you'' he work there i guess.. his just handsome and cute.. hahahha..then.. make a trip home. dam! seriously i'm tired... later gonna hav to change again for the night wedding at 7.oo all the way to 10.40.. that's like sooooooooooooo late... pffff... dun feel like goin to school tomorrow!!! seriously... hope i'll get SICK!!.... i wanna be SICK today and skip school TOMORROW! YEAH BABEY!...lol....