yo!.. wassup people....o well..today wasn't really that much interestin but durin EOA lesson, miss wee taught us..and zharif went immitatin her voice again and his name got written down on a piece of paper..haha..niway, after EOA, it was english.. mr.siva(2nd) was pleased with the gurls for pinnin up their frindge..=]]..then it was CPA...did some work checkin, and corrections.. then it was readin period...did nothin except for doin our mathslast minute homework..oh as well as talkin and laughin in class..then it was recess.. saw wayne dancin as in tiltin himself left and right.. like shrek!.. hahahah...shhhht..=]...was laughin like crazy..so was siti...niway, don't wanna talk bout schoo.. after school, went to look for miss tan as siti was asked to practise the speach or should i say the recollection for NDP parade...miss tan,sit,amira,sabariah,fatin and me was there.. then we started practisin.. o well, minutes later, we started laughin out loud on the way we're sayin the lines..espeacially me and siti.. cuz of the pointin to help to say in a angry way or in a loud voice tune..can't stop laughin even a second or a minute..and so miss tan join our laughter...X)).. niway, after that, stayed back in school as sabariah had the marchin thingy.. but at last, she doesn't need to do as atikah will be doin it.. oh and btw, atikah was kinda suspended by smokin in school.. she pleaded mr.jerry tan for forgiveness.. she could stay but for one week.. another week, guess she'll be at home...if i ain't wrong... o well, stayed behind in school to finish up our maths homework as well as to revise a little of maths..while doin, we were also makin a hell out of a noise in the canteen..runnin and laughin like small kiddos.. left school around 5 plus.. went eunos mrt station to meet a guy from ITE which sabarish suppose to meet.. and finally saw the guy.. she was kinda embarrase to meet him as it's her first time. but in the end, she met the guy..then we went home.. worst thing ever goin home today.. once i've got home, mum was naggin at me bout my health and all.. i didn't say anithin bout my mum not allowin her to take care of me...i told her i didn't say that and she just say it striaght forward as in'' u wanna die right?...let you go n die then'' somethin like that.. i just kept my mouth shut..but in my heart, its almost like a piece of paper... once torn, it can't be ment.. that's how i felt when my mum acturlly curse me..was sobbin in the toilet while takin a bathe and after takin a bathe...omg!.. which mum would ever say that to their daughter.. seriously, i just can't take it animore..she's been harsh to me at times...i know i'm a little sensitive and all and i take things seriously as in i feel offended at times.. i know..but some things, i can't control and have to vent my anger infront of my mum...or even just locked myself in the toilet, vent my anger and start to sob.. that will make me feel better.. just to let you know, if i'm sad or angry and i feel like cryin, i'll lock myself in the toilet for half an hour and cry myself to sleep..no kiddin ya'll..but please... i ain't gonna sleep in the toilet.. just gonna lay and sleep on the bed..
SERIOUSLY, my life sucks lately..all laughter and smiles just to make me feel happy.. but in my heart, it's always lays lots of problems that i've not confide in...or have not brought out to anione yet except to my friend, siti..thanks for ya comfort yeah..appreciated..x))...will always keep in contact.. o well, i've just said my peace..gonna revise my chinese and mayb read story books and get to sleep..b4 goin sleep, gotta pack for tomorrow's guides parade....grr.....niway, see ya dudes..

i open my eyes
i try to see but i'm blinded by the white light
i can't remember how
i can't remember why
i'm lyin here tonight

and i can't stand the pain
and i can't make it go away
no i can't stay the pain

how could this happen to me
i made my mistakes
got no where to run
the night goes on
as i'm fadin away
i'm sick of this life
i just wanna scream
how could this happen to me

everybody's screamin
i try to make it sound but no one hears me
i'm slippin off the edge
hangin by the thread
i wanna start this over again

so i try to hold onto a time when nothin mattered
and i can't explaine what happened
and i can't erased the things that i've done
no i can't

(repeat the chorus)

i made my mistakes
i've got no where to run
the night goes on
as i'm fadin away
i'm sick of this life
i just wanna scream
how could this happen to me.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

hey yo!..wassup...

long time no updatin of my blog huh.. o well, let me just tell ya.. that i've been comin home late last weekdays from mon-fri to practise for our competition.. and then on saturday, we went to changat changi sec for our competition..in the end, we didn't win anithin... but it's our hardwork that counts..we did try our best right guy??... niway, just incase they didn't put the exact day that i'm updatin, it's thursday today..so yeah...and same old thing, been comin home straight after school to do my homework and revise on my work..u know what, i've not been revisin that much cuz i've ain't got ample time..but i tried my best to at least catch up with the time by revisin whatever i can everyday.. unless i'm seriously dead exaushted then i'll just snooze off after school...the weather have been coolin now a days niway.. let me think....finally pass my class test.. got 5 out of 10..how pathetic is that just b cuz it slipped out of my mind of not writtin down ''therefor'' and the word'' or''..zzzzz... that's called not careful..skipped that part.. and on the day when siti and fatin came to my house.. i felt like hidin my head somewhere... siti went openin up my picture folders and saw all my photo's... they was laughin their arse off.. and of cause i did too.. but i felt embarrasin..OMG!!... i just love them lur.. they always make my day...whenever i'm sad, they'll cheer me up.. oh, they came to my house to do some CPA project work.. guess it's kinda right?.. we're done with our cpa work.. tomorrow, we're gonna hand it up to our form teacher..o..k.. why am i tellin u all those crappy stuff which i'm not suppose to.. aniway, had guides drillin today.. as in the marchin.. to prepare for the NDP parade.. continuously.. but of cuz, there's a break...duh~~...there was the NPCC's n the ST.John's.. both the NPCC n st.john's was STRICT ENOUGH..hilary's voice was super loud as well as imran's n the ma'am..ended at 5.00..went to eunos hawker centre to eat together with athirah,amira,sabariah,fatin and siti..ain't got idea but i just went silent for almost the whole of the eatin time..except for when this old man came askin if he could collect the cans and we were like'' it's not empty''.. he kept askin us.. he stood there for few seconds and he walk away.. minutes later, he came to our table again and ask... his soooooooooo DESPERATE for cans that he can't wait and just leave us alone for awhile until we go... kinda bothered by him.. his doin his job..got home around 6.20-30..so.. did my chinese homework just now.. and was kinda tired.. left with my maths homework ... and yay!! ain't got guides tomorrow and so i'm gonna use the free time that i've got..so..what i'm gonna do tomorrow.
1. come back home straight after school(duh)
2.slack for awhile
3.get my hands and brains workin on my homework and revisin for my common test!..
4.do some readin.

that's what i'm gonna do...it's now 10.25pm
i've gotta wash up..and snooze off..

see ya folks.X))

Friday, July 20, 2007

Monday, July 16, 2007

yo!.. wassup darl....let's start of with early in the mornin..went to school as usual..meet my babes and friends. haha.. didnn't do my maths homework except for one as it's like kinda difficult.. i did really tried at home.. skipped assembly. first period was CPA.. printed the SST excel work that we've done..then it was maths..handed up our corrections homework.. mdm tang, as usual.. lecturin those peeps whom didn't do their assignment..espeacially those prefects like hakeem and ikin was ask to take off their ties as they didn't do their assignments..not only the both of them but few of the others i think..lecture them for bout 20 minutes then we started a normal lesson and quadratic equations.. DAMN! that topic makes my brain go hay wire..quite difficult.. and i think i finally manage to press the calculator.. i mean as in know how to do the sum on pressin the calculator.. wadever that is.. was given assignment to do.. gonna do it right after i've finish bloggin yeah.. then it was FnN.. was apeal to find 3 recipe's for us to do durin our exams i think and, my recipe was,rasberry brownies, lollipop cookies the other one was amira's recipe which i can't recall.. after FnN..it was D.S.S.= directed.Self.Studies. went to the blackboxs to see those guides dancers practisin their dance for competition..as usual, i went a little high when i was in the blackboxs..as in laughin.. but just for awhile yeah. hahaha...skipped the recess part.. and now here comes EOA...zzzzzzzzz...worst day i've ever had durin EOA.. i felt sooo humiliatin...all b cuz ofHAKEEM!! ..SCREW HIM BIG TIME MAN.. first we were ask to do come memorandem.. hakeem was just beside me disturbin my keyboard while i was typin.. ended up while pushin his arm away, i ended up knockin my elbow against the back..that hurts..he was gigglin away...*his such a evil kid..AMMATURE*... kept on repeatin it over and over again till i shouted at him. as in

me: STOP DISTURBIN ME LA!!:
hakeem: cheyy marah seh( cheyy angry seh)
me: shuddup lar:.

all i know is, he kept annoyin me..his such a disturbance to me.. and here comes the humiliatin part.. first of all, i was doin my work till there's a conversation from mdm lim..

mdm lim: stop lookin at hakeem..do ur work
me: i'm not lookin at him, i'm sharin the paper with him..
mdm lim: oh i see.. i know you like hakeem right?
me: no lar.. nonsence..*say out loud: merepek ar chekgu(teacher is talkin nonsence)*
mdm lim: who said that?..
*keeps quiet but there's laughter from hakeem.*
mdm lim: oh.. u and hakeem are like bro n sis izzit?
me: we're just friends
*hakeem started a conversation with mdm lim and started talkin behind my back..betrayed me..grrr..*
hakeem: cher, u dun care bout us la.. u do ur own work
mdm lim: don't disturb bernadette if not LGF will scold you.( somethin like that lar)
hakeem: * who is LGF..?*
me: *pointed infront and beside siti norain*
hakeem:..oh..cher, who like bernadette
mdm lim: alex..
me: *saw hakeem's conversation* cher! don't spout nonsence.. i dun like him!
mdm lim: but he likes you..
me: his problem lar..
mdm lim: then who you like? terry
me: eeee...no!!..nonsence.
mdm lim: then who you like?
me: no one..
mdm lim: why so sad..
me: cuz i wanna concentrate on my studies..
mdm lim: soo good..
me: wadever la.. haha
me:*...lost contact in where i was typin..all b cuz of mdm lim's conversation..but in the end found the sentence*


continued doin my work until i saw hakeem's conversation there's this 2 words sayin'' AVA member''..was aggitated!...and hakeem tried his veri best to cover his SCREEN..
hakeem: cher, keep quiet..dun tell her..

me: cher, what did hakeem tell you
mdm lim: u like oswin
me: no lar..that was long ago..
mdm lim: ohh..

*zafir came to my place and typed: i lve fadly:*
me: * was screechin at the top of my voice..as in ZAFIRRRR....OIIIII....IDIOT LA U..* grinnin from ear to ear while sayin tht** and whole class turns and face me..thinkin that i'm one crazy girl..**espeacially siti was smilin..* hahaha..sorry ek siti..kekeke
me: cher, zafir type that sentence.. not me..

*all of us got back to our place gettin ready to leave...*..zafir went pullin my pony tail..* mdm lim saw and said
mdm lim: zafir u like bernadette izzit..
zafir: no lar..
mdm lim: u know when a guy touches the girls hair means they wan to marry her..zafir u touch bernadette's hair means u wan to marry her lar..

can't really hear wht zafir say but
me: woik!!...RUBBISH LAR!!..
whole class: cheyyyyyyyyyy bernadette......zafir......

me: grrrrr.....stop it lar..irritatin sia..*blushin*
whole class: cheyyyyyyyy...and laughin away...espeacially hakeem kept goin on and on and on...
talkin to me bout zafir.... while i ran away from her idiotic talks bout zafir..

OMG!!! SERIOUSLY, TODAY WAS SUCH A HUMILIATIN DAY FOR ME...GRRR..
niway, guess this conversation is long enough for u guys to enjoy and grinnin from ear-to-ear.....have to shut the computer off and start doodlin on my homework b4 the method slipped off my mind.. see ya dudes.

Friday, July 13, 2007

first of all is photo's that i'm gona upload. haha. and it is.
and now here's my story.

o well, today was really nothin much interesting..was tryin to concentrate on my eoa lesson..
IT lesson was seriously such a bore.. mr.robin kept and lecturin the guys bout their behaviour plus reprimandin them for their naughty behaviour too.. what the girls did was just puttin our heads down on the table.. let's just say all of us was like in a daze and slackin durin IT. cuz we weren't asked to do anithin except sittin down on our chairs like one lazy bums doin nothin but just starrin in the air...zzz.. english lesson was one hell of a irritation.. arggg...why must syafa,zarif n jack be in our group.. thanks to me i've completely forgotten bout the colour pencils.. ''sorry zarif'' haha.. but then we used markers and all.. well, our presentation SUCKS BIG TIME MAN..was kinda pist off with zarif but some reasons..can't stand him so i went pokin his hand with my high lighter, ended up with a mark on his hand..-_-''... gettin annoyed by them each days..after school, stayed back for guides..practisin the dance, doin the wooden stick thingy and all... in between breaks, siti,sabariah,fatin and me went takin pictures as in camwhore in the blackboxs.. took lots of photo's i guess..heeees..=))... CAMERA'S ADDICTED.. went home around 5 plus.. goin to be a pig soon.. guess i'll shall stop here yeah. gotta run babes..adios.

the loneliness of nights along
the search of strength to carry on
my every hope had seemed to die
my eyes had no more tears to cry
then like the sun shining from up above
you surrounded me with your endles love
and all the things i couldn't see are now so clear to me

you are my everything
nothin your love won't bring
my life is yours alone
the only love i've ever known
your spirit pulls me through
when nothing els will do
every night i pray
on my bended knees
that you will always be
my everything

now all my hope and all my dreams
are suddenly reality
you've opened up my heart to feel
a kind of love that's truely real
a guiding light that'll never fade
there's not a thing in life that i would ever trade
for the love you give and won't let go
i hope you'll alwyas know

(repeat chorus)

you're the breath of life in me
the only one that sets me free
and you have made my soul complete
for all time(for all time)

you are my everything(you are my everything)
nothing your love won't bring(nothin you love won't bring)
my life is yours alone(alone)
the only love i've ever known(oh no, no)
your spirit pulls me through(your spirit pulls me through)
when nothing els will dowhen nothing els to do)
every night i pray(oh, i pray)
on my bended knees(on my knee)
that you will always be
be my everything

[chorus repeats]

every night i pray
on my bended knees
that you will always be
my everything
oh my everything

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

nvr been bloggin..been readin my very own story book which i bought few months back..and of cuz revise my subjects that i'm totally weak in.=)).. aniway, seriously, i'm gettin so provokin and fumin mad by this guy name SHAFA[ hack care if i spelled her..oops i mean his name wrongly]..his always behind the girls and always sayin this'' can you please hurry up../fast la...ur soo slow..'' WADEVA SHAFA!! i dun give a danm!!.. can't he see that there's people still walkin infront of us after assembly..is he blind or what..argggg.. his such a pain in the BUTT..not once,twice or thrice but more then that.. even if it's a few of us he'll just walk behind us and say'' can you walk faster.. your soo slow..'' like as if he can't walk pass us..IDIOTIC,ANNOYIN,PEST BOY!!.. hack care bout him.his a freak aniway..another case was.. i was bein called a SLUT by jack..bloddy hell!!..well, let'st just say i was talkin to atikah.. and so i was kinda restless and slobby..kind atikah kinda move jacks back aside and so i can sit... it's durin FnN and after cookin and bakin..all of us wen to the back of the classroom where the cupboard is and i sat ontop of the cupboard..super duper rich jack came and so i came down..i didn't sputter a word or soo... jack took his bag and turn a little to my side and said''slut''.. i was kinda pist off...he don't even know what's the meanin of slut, don't SAY IT!! U UNDERSTAND???..FREAK!!!..argg..it's just my luck to meet this WEIRDOS IN 3 ENDURANCE!!..hmm.. let me just say the WEIRDOS CLUB? and they are
jack
ismail
shafa
alex
zarif..
why am i talkin bout those weirdos and freaks..argggff...faggots. X))
today was really nothin much but yay! guess i'm gonna pass my maths test.. that's only 1 question.. and i hope i got it right..that's kinda over confident right. haha i know..o well,
tmr, it's gonna be a buzy day for me..gonna stay back if i have to.. i mean in school. and practise my dances steps b4 the competition nxt nxt week.. or just 1 week later??.. o well, gotta run..

see ya.

she makes me laugh
she'll make me cry
and when we talk
she wonders why
that i can't breathe into this life
with the things she says i wanna die
all the things we talk about you know they stay on my mind
on my mind
all the things we laugh about they'll bring us through it everytime
after time after time
cuz you're all i wanted to find
cuz you're all i wanted to find
and i would drive, the whole night through
just so i could spend it with you
i know you're mind and i know it's true
that when we fight, we will make it through
all the things we talk about you know they stay on my mind
on my mind
all the things we laugh about they'll bring us through it everytime
after time after time
cuz you're all i wanted to find(x2)
i'll fallin, i'm fallin,i'm falling down(x4)
down down down
cuz you're all i wanted to find(x4).

pictures will be uploaded nxt time.=]

Friday, July 06, 2007

note: siti, if ur readin my blog, sorry if i type ur name a few times.. cuz i can't stop thinkin bout the wooden stick.. as in durin recess u n fatin make stupid jokes n laugh like crazi. haha

o well, today was really nothin much but mr siva(2nd) was like''thought i ask you to bring ur pin?''
stuff like that.. cuz of my frindge.. dun bother bout that..durin recess, went lookin for siti and fatin...b4 that hilary went pullin me with her like as if i'm her dog or somethin..that's why i went lookin for them. but then finally they were at the canteen. zzzz.. niway, after they have finish eatin, we went waitin for our teacher whom taught us how the gaget with the wooden stick of cuz.. while waitin, fatin was makin some lame but funny jokes with the wooden stick. as in walkin like an old lady and all lar.can't remember wht els did she do.. but all i know was, i laughed my arse off till i squard down..hahahaha.. we were even just beside MDM TANG ROOM! luckily we wasn't chased by her.. kinda controllin ourself from laughin... niway, right after school, went straight home..

on the way home, at the eunos bus stop, i saw this unlovin father whom just snatch somethin from his younger son's hand and just walk away leavin him on the ground cryin loudly.. that was just soo embarrasin but of cuz his mum was there with another even younger son.. couldn't bother much bout this kinda unlovin father towards the younger son.. pity him.. people were just starrin at them..leave that aside..had guides.. it was just sooooo monotoneous.. waitin for them to learn the dance steps it's like waitin for money to drop from the sky..minutes later, we were discussin bout the dance.. the theme is fantasy.. but in the end, we did nothin but just slackin for the whole of the guides.. SO ''PROUD'' of u guys..niway, some of them suggested umbrella by rihanna.. i'll just go search for some information of buy CDs that's bout fantasy or soo.. went home bout 5.00 niway, cuz mum wanna bring me out for dinner at VIVO. XD..got back around 8 plus.. right now kinda sloppy and hmmm..borin.. shall go read up my story book b4 my library books that i borrowed from school library fly to me.. kekke

adios..

Thursday, July 05, 2007

hey..

should i blog?.. i know.. everytime i'll just skipped two days of bloggin and when i feel like it on the 2rd day, i'll just blog.. pfff.. niways, since i'm bloggin, i shall start my story life..kekeke.

well...today was really nothin much..but seriously, those last few days back, i was kinda doin my homework..readin story book plus tryin my best to revise my maths.. and yeap.. though i do sit infront of the computer but i was kinda checkin friendster(as usual n always. plus bloggin for awhile) i did that for bout few minutes.. after that, i went revisin and all..didn't go online.. and tryin not to go ON durin weekdays.. only weekends like saturday n sundays. DUH.. acturlly, today was really such a sloppy day for me..ain't idea what's wrong with me.. been yawning and yawnin..music lesson.., friends in my group was kinda countin on me as i'm the ''music composer'' that's for countin the beats.. seriously, i dunno how to count. i only know how to enjoy the soothin music, and those rock,emo,black metal songs,RnB and soul kinda songs. haha. after beats countin, another recreation was we're suppose to listen to the song and guess the title of the song.. i'm kinda proficient for these kinda stuff yeah.. only mayb some parts, out of the blue, it just slipped off my mind.. the 3rd one was name the artist who sang the song.. so yeah.. then it was english.. mr.siva(2nd) taught us.. almost went dozing off durin his lesson.. cuz he talk too much. hahahaha..shhhhhhhhht. =#... oh and he lectured us bout the girls frindge.. and guys who have long hair..WADEVA.. after english it was maths.. well, let's just say half the class was being appeal by mdm tang to sit on the floor. i mean for those who failed the maths test. for me, i just need that 1 more mark to pass.. few minutes later, we sat back on the chair... hakeem was kinda imitatin what mdm was talkin bout but in a softer voice.. his soooo infuriating that i can't really stand him sometimes..grrrr..SCREW him!!.. oh n he kept playin with my chinese name until mdm tang stares at him for quite long... i was beside him smigerin from ear to ear.. hahaha..niway, skipped tht whole lesson with mdm tang. she's not my favourite teacher.. but she's good in teachin us maths..appreciate her teachin. ;).. niways, is hakeem jealous or what.. durin CPA lesson, he asked me to ask atikah for help. so i went askin her.. after askin, halfway walkin to my seat, azar called me.. i went to his place to help him out..

hakeem: bernadette...
me: skejab..
1 minutes later

hakeem: bernadette!!!..
me: wait lar..!!
* after helpin azar i went back to my place*

hakeem: oi.. i call you just now u didn't hear... azar called you, u went to him..
me: i was helpin him right..and i say wait..
hakeem: i know he like you that's why you help him
me: *keeps quiet and say *nonsence* in my heart*..seconds later, apologised to hakeem..
niways, don't wanna talk bout him.. he gets toooo worked up easily.. the best thing is, his the one whom also act proud.. everytime i ask him for help, he'll just continue doin his work..his soooo...
a**w****..censored. sorry but i seriously have to say that.. his like a small kid.. not mature enough yet.. that's all i can say bout him.

well, i've just completed my english homework.. and kinda finish revisin abit of my maths.. soo kinda restless right now.. shall go n snooze off b4 dinner..chaos..

adios.

ps. ( i just adore this song soo much.. addicted to it. here's the lyrics)

mariah carey: thank god i found you.

i would give up everything
before i seperate myself from you
after so much suffering
i've finally found a man that's true
i was all by myself for the longest time
so cold inside
and the hurt from the heart it would not subside
i felt like dying
until you save my life

thank god i found you
i was lost without you
my every wish and every dream
somehow became reality
when you brought the sunlight
completed my whole life
i'm overwhelmed with gratitude
cause baby i'm so thankful
i found you

i would give you everything
there's nothing in this world i wouldn't do
to ensure your happiness
i'll cherish every part of you
because without you beside me i can't survive
i don't wanna try
if you're keepin me warm each day and every night
i'll be all right
cause i need you in my life

thank god i found you(i'm beggin you)
i was lost without you(so lost without you)
my every wish and every dream(every dream, every dream)
somehow became reality
when you brought the sunlight(brought the sunlight)
completed my whole life
i'm overwhelmed with gratitude
cause baby i'm so thankful
i found you

see i was so desolate
before you came to me
lookin back i guess it shows
that we were destined to shine
after the rain to appreciate
and care for what we have
and i'd go through it all over again
to be able to feel this way

thank god i found you
i was lost without you(lost without you baby)
my every wish and every dream
somehow became reality
when you brought the sunlight
completed my whole life( whole life)
i'm overwhelmed with gratitude
sweet baby i'm so thankful
i found you

i'm overwhelmed with gratitude
my baby i'm so thankful i found you.

Monday, July 02, 2007

NOT DONE MY MATHS HOMEWORK AND YET I'M BLOGGIN???!!??.. wadever.. niways, i'll settle with my maths hoomework later yeah.. will ask some of my friends on the maths. haha.

nothin much but went watchin TV together with my mum in the living room.. we were watchin diana's party on star world.. nice show.. there's my favourite singer n band.. niways, half way got bored so this is what i ended up doin.. takin pictures again. hahaha